To begin at the beginning...

(or: Why I threw in the towel with that Facebook crap for something a little more bland)

Well, it seemed like a sensible idea at the time. After four years of almost constant abuse I decided that I had had enough of the vagaries of Le Livre du Visage, and it was time to go into social networking rehab for a spell.

For all the supposed wonderment that social networking is meant to infuse into our dull meaningless lives, it sure can make a guy anti-social and hermetic. One's fingers can lash viciously at targets that the tongue would fight shy of- for fear of retaliation and the prospect of public humiliation. It's all too safe to sit in a room spitting bile from the safety of a laptop- and I am more guilty than most of this error. Did it stop me, but? Of course not, what are you, crazy??

One thing that struck me when I made the alacritous decision to announce my departure from Facebook- on Facebook (not my wisest choice)- was how swiftly certain numbers sprang up to declare dismay at such an action. Who do we turn to for news of the freshly dead?, they howled. Who can we depend upon to outrage and offend with irrational taunts?, they declaimed. Who will entertain us with bizarre irreverence?, they whinnied.

You see, it had become my role (self-appointed at first, and then expected by others) to become the court jester of the set, the joker in the pack. I would sully the ether with my ill formed opinion on just about everything on just about everyone's screen. This was tiring for me and tiresome for the rest of the planet. But attention is a very addictive drug, and Attention Must Be Paid to an attention-junkie lest they are reduced to filling their dank days with meaningful activity... like talking to people and getting out of the house to walk in the daylight...

Faeces-book afforded me the opportunity to spout drivel across the globe on any subject I cared to taint. My voice could be heard as a claxon of crap, and best of all I was answerable to nobody! People could be outraged on different continents, but that didn't matter- I was networking socially! My opinions were valid, and would undoubtedly garner support somewhere out there... And if it all got too nasty, I would just say "Hitler!" and end the argument there and then. That's how it works, right?

So why should a blog be any different? It's a different mindset, for a start. As opposed to reacting to the posts of others, you are forced to initiate proceedings. Which makes you think before you type- we can but hope- as there is now true responsibility in that which commit to the ethereal ages. Of course there would be room for rants- more room perhaps- but this brings me to my second point.

Farce-bark appeals as it is immediate. A blog seems to require consideration. If some poor blighted soul posts some bollocks on Fist-beak it is all too easy to post bollocks back, and engage in a battle of witlessness that no one can win. To write a blog entry, it helps to have something to say in the first place. It need not be a great manifesto, but a considered idea is the very least requirement in this arena.

I would find myself on Shite-book almost constantly during every waking hour of my days- it was on my phone, it was on my home computer, and at work. Its immediacy and availability is a worry as it does overtake you once you have three or four ongoing conversations happening in three continents. To the exclusion of virtually everything else around you.

The last straw for me was yet another layout change. I objected to not being given an opt-out to a format I didn't like, and it seemed the perfect opportunity to cut the umbilicus once and for all. Thus I will be going Cold Jerky. The Cancelled Deleted Account for me. No more fake-butt account on the phone, or at work, or anywhere.

And yet the are some souls who are perplexed at the decision to axe it completely-"why not just go dark?" is the common cry. Because, and I have already said this on foce-benk, it is tantamount to telling a crack-head "just have one rock a week, and you'll be fine....". No, he won't- he'll be sucking that pipe as quick as he can get the money from sucking dick to buy a quarry of rock, and he'll be in the same boat all over again.

Those that know me well know I have what could be described as an addict's personality. Why have one beer, when you can have six? Why stay up half an hour on the computer when there's a whole evening to waste? This action of mine is designed to break that cycle.

So what will be the aim of this blog? To share with the interested folk out there who may miss my witterings my curdled thoughts and rancid observations of things out there as I see them- through my occluded occuli.  Everything from music to theatre to wallpaper and all points in between- all is fair game, and all will be subject to a more considered appraisal than fink-blerk seems to allow.  Sure it's not as sexy to be blogging, but it does feel a damn sight more comfortable....

Until next I bore you rigid,  I remain...

Eliot McCann
4/2/2012